In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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