Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
