who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
