Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
