omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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