You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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