I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
