It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
