Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
cat food counts as protein by the way
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
