Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
