Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
