She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
