this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
