dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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