just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
