do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
