the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He better not be in your backpack
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
