you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
