i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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