Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
