ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
