If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
