I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
