I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
