i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
