Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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