Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Drunk is a universal language darling
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
