My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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