lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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