im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
how does that bad decision feel?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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