I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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