The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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