She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My ass is underappreciated
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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