Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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