Jerry, you need to find god
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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