I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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