I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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