you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
