Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
