Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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