my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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