watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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