Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
