Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
