This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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