At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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