How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
