Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
