pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
