She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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