Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
